receiving less-than-excellent Feedback jeopardizes our self-worth.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

When I read this quote, I chuckled in my head. It’s so true and deep in reality by George Bernard Shaw, an Irish playwright.

He points out the delusion of communication when we do not talk and discuss with our peers.

It’s sometimes difficult to absorb others’ knowledge with our introspections, particularly for those of us who are perfectionists.

As we cultivate our self-worth of performance and have high expectations for ourselves, receiving less-than-excellent Feedback jeopardizes our self-worth. So, we do what we can to evade or deny it.

As Adam Grant rightly quotes

“Once people take ownership over the decision to receive feedback, they’re less defensive about it.”

One must treat Feedback as the most awaited dessert after a fulfilling meal. In all work situations, Feedback is essential to make the office machinery work and function.

Especially in a product development scenario, Feedback is an integral part of creating a functional product that is successful in its purpose.

The team gives Feedback and agrees on the solution. The meeting helps to have a shared understanding of the solution.

Here are a few tips to feel encouraged and motivated while receiving Feedback

When receiving Feedback, always do something called globalizing.

Someone tells us, “This asset isn’t working well,” and we hear “, You’re a bad designer.” Or our colleague says, “I felt unsupported by X,” and we hear “, You’re a terrible co-worker.”

We take Feedback related to behaviour (state) and turn it into a characteristic about ourselves (trait).

When hearing Feedback, remember the natural tendency to do the above; you’re more likely to catch it when it happens. Also, remember that your growth area does not necessarily mean you’re a poor designer/failure.

Try to provide yourself with enough evidence of positivity. Only some people are pessimistic; their mere comment is not to disappoint you. Please take it as a conversation and work on it.

On the other side of every shortcoming is a strength or positive intention.

For you, the other side of shyness might be conscientiousness. A conscientious person takes obligations seriously and is efficient and organized.

Your anxiety might be perceived as protection from humiliation. However, on the other side of impulsivity might be the ability to take action.

Viewing your weaknesses through this lens isn’t meant to absolve responsibility. However, it’s essential to recognize that the behaviour (or lack of behaviour) is likely coming from a good place and has positives that you might not want to let go of entirely as you focus on growth.

Mindfulness and self-compassion are two of our most valuable qualities in life.

Without mindfulness, we have no insight into our experience and thus can’t improve.

Without self-compassion, we can’t sit with the inevitable discomfort of life outlined in the first point.

Self-compassion is about treating yourself as a great coach with realistic, flexible expectations that encourage growth.

But also with empathy and the knowledge that you’re an imperfect human being programmed to learn as you go, not a robot for perfection.

“That you have areas to work on! It means you haven’t reached the peak of your game and can still improve”.

Imagine if you needed more areas you could improve upon. You would have maxed out your potential and wouldn’t have the chance to secure a starting position!

Remember that the growth areas mean you still have the potential to develop, and there’s no telling what you’re capable of once you acknowledge and bring attention to those areas!

Nobody likes to feel uncomfortable, physically or emotionally. And our world does an excellent job of enabling us to avoid discomfort.

We feel bodily pain; we take a pill. We feel emotional pain, take drugs, eat, drink, distract, numb, avoid, or suppress.

Suppose we anticipate emotional discomfort (such as shame, rejection, inadequacy, anger, hurt, anxiety, contempt, etc., that we might feel in response to Feedback).

In that case, we do everything we can to deter acknowledging the circumstances.

It is expected to feel uncomfortable, but by permitting ourselves to handle complex emotions, we can experience growth and transformation.

What I have learned so far!

The way forward is to be honest and transparent.

Critical Feedback inspires us to improve for the better. Don’t be afraid or shun Feedback ( friendly banter) from colleagues or clients. It should be taken in good spirits.

Feedback is good if they inspire solutions or at least look at them. Feedback can motivate us and our work to the next level.

I personally love them.

What do you find helpful to keep in mind when receiving Feedback?

Please feel free to continue the conversation by sharing additional strategies!

Read more articles exploring the dynamic interplay between design, user experience, artificial intelligence, and technology here.